The Art of Being Coachable: Why Wanting Results Isn't Enough
Read Time: 10 minutes
Author: Jamie Scott
There's a peculiar paradox in the coaching world: the people who most desperately want coaching are sometimes the least ready for it.
They'll pay premium fees, express genuine motivation for change, and articulate perfectly reasonable goals. Yet within weeks, the relationship becomes a cycle of crisis management and frustration that benefits no one.
If you've ever wondered why some people achieve remarkable transformations through coaching while others seem to struggle despite having access to the same expertise, the answer usually lies not so much in the quality of guidance they receive (though that can certainly be a factor), but in their readiness to engage with the coaching process.
Wanting results and being coachable can be two entirely different things.
What Coachability Actually Looks Like
True coachability isn't about being compliant or never struggling with recommendations. Instead, coachable clients demonstrate several key characteristics that create the conditions for genuine progress.
They distinguish between explanation and excuse-making. Everyone encounters obstacles—work stress, family demands, unexpected challenges. Coachable clients present these as problems to be solved rather than reasons why change is impossible. They might say, "I struggled with meal prep this week because of work deadlines—what strategies can I put in place for busy periods?" rather than "I can't meal prep because work is too demanding."
They take ownership of outcomes. When progress stalls or setbacks occur, coachable clients look first at their own behaviour rather than external factors. They understand they are the primary agent of change in their own lives. This doesn't mean they should blame themselves for everything, - far from it. But they recognise their role in both successes and struggles.
They embrace experimentation over perfectionism. Rather than needing to understand every detail before taking action, coachable clients are willing to try approaches even when skeptical. They understand that progress comes through doing, not endless analysis (and subsequent paralysis). When something doesn't work perfectly, they see it as useful information rather than failure.
They maintain appropriate boundaries. Perhaps most importantly, coachable clients understand the difference between coaching support and emotional therapy. They can discuss challenges without turning every interaction into a crisis that requires immediate emotional rescue.
Common Patterns That Hinder Progress
While everyone faces challenges in making changes (coaches included), certain patterns can make the coaching process ineffective. Recognising these patterns—in yourself or others—helps determine whether someone is ready for coaching or might benefit from addressing other areas first.
The Evolving Excuse Pattern
Some people demonstrate what might be called "excuse evolution"—when one barrier is addressed, a new one immediately emerges. This might begin with practical concerns: limited time, budget constraints, or logistical challenges. When solutions are provided for these issues, new barriers immediately surface: confusion between systems, social pressures, or scheduling conflicts. Eventually, the explanations may evolve to more complex frameworks.
A particularly draining variation involves clients presenting ideas and opinions from social media (or AI) - whether from qualified experts or influencers - as sources of "confusion" that prevent them from following recommendations. While coaches are open to discussing legitimate questions about their approach, this often becomes a distraction tactic that forces the coach into lengthy explanations about why random internet opinions don't apply to the client's specific situation.
This creates what's known as Brandolini's law: the amount of energy needed to refute misinformation is an order of magnitude greater than that needed to produce it. Coaches can quickly find themselves spending more time debunking irrelevant content than focusing on actual behaviour change.
The key distinction is between collaborative problem-solving and persistent justification for inaction.
The Knowledge-Implementation Gap
One particularly challenging pattern involves people who claim extensive knowledge of a topic while demonstrating poor outcomes. Someone might state "I know all about nutrition" (it is very common to hear this), while simultaneously rating their eating habits as poor, and not displaying any of the skills that are consistent with application of knowledge in a given domain. Or they respond to guidance with "I know that" while consistently not applying the information.
This often reflects overconfidence in areas where competence is lacking—a version of the Dunning-Kruger effect. Professional backgrounds in teaching or helping roles (such as nursing) can sometimes make this pattern more pronounced, as these individuals may find it difficult to shift from being the expert to being the student.
Easy access to Artificial Intelligence makes this implementation gap worse. People use these tools diagnostically, and are more likely to ask “what” questions rather than “how” questions.
Crisis Creation and Boundary Confusion
Some people consistently turn coaching challenges into emotional crises that redirect the coaches focus from helping with behaviour change to providing emotional support. This might involve an individual making decisions about their programme without consultation with their coach, then presenting the results of this decision in ways that create drama. Or by repeatedly crossing communication boundaries (which can be both under and over communicating) while positioning these violations as evidence of their need for support, or perhaps as evidence of the coach not providing enough support.
While coaches naturally provide some emotional support as part of helping clients navigate change, when every interaction becomes about managing emotional crises rather than building practical skills, coaching becomes ineffective. Clients who find themselves in constant emotional distress about their health journey may benefit from working with a qualified therapist or counsellor alongside or before engaging in health coaching.
Solution Resistance
Perhaps the most challenging pattern involves individuals wanting outcomes without being prepared to make corresponding lifestyle adjustments. This might look like expecting “the process” to magically happen on the back of recieving a plan without the clients investing the time in setting up systems, demanding flexibility in their plan while being unwilling to modify any life areas, or seeking strategies that require no schedule adjustments, skill development, or habit changes - effectively expecting a specific outcome based on almost no change in what they currently do.
This reflects magical thinking about how change actually happens.
The Environmental Factor
Sometimes the issue isn't lack of coachability but environmental challenges that make change extremely difficult for an individual. Consider someone whose partner routinely criticises their food choices, or someone surrounded by social and cultural messages that prioritise appearance over health.
The key distinction is whether people can acknowledge these environmental challenges and work to address them (which can require some very difficult decisions at times), or whether they use them as permanent barriers to action. Coachable clients in difficult environments seek solutions: setting boundaries with unsupportive family and friends, finding alternative social support systems, or addressing poor relationship dynamics directly.
The Readiness Factor
True readiness for coaching requires the ability to implement basic recommendations consistently—not perfectly, but definitely consistently.
It's about engaging with the process of behaviour change rather than fighting it.
Readiness also means having the psychological resources for ongoing communication and feedback. People who are genuinely overwhelmed by life circumstances may desperately want the outcomes which can result from good coaching support but lack the bandwidth for the process and relationship involved with that support.
This isn't a character flaw—sometimes life circumstances genuinely preclude the sustained attention that effective coaching requires.
Red Flags Worth Recognising
Certain early patterns can indicate coachability challenges:
Extensive excuse-making that evolves when practical barriers to change are addressed
Claiming knowledge while simultaneously not applying it
Perfect readiness to change scores but with no recent change attempts
Boundary violations around communication and professional limits
Wanting outcomes while being unwilling to modify factors which will contribute to those outcomes
Defensive responses when presented with challenging feedback
These aren't permanent character flaws—they're indicators that someone may need to address other areas before coaching becomes effective.
The Coach's Role in Supporting Coachability
Good coaches help develop coachability by setting clear expectations, providing education about the change process, and addressing unproductive patterns when they emerge. Sometimes the most valuable thing a coach can do is pause a relationship when fundamental requirements cannot be met, allowing clients to address underlying barriers before resuming coaching.
This collaborative approach recognises that coaching works best when both parties understand their roles and responsibilities.
Making an Honest Assessment
Most coaches use some version of a Ready, Willing, and Able framework to assess coachability. This typically involves rating yourself on a scale of 1-10 across three dimensions:
Ready: How prepared are you mentally and emotionally for the change process? This isn't just wanting results—it's about being psychologically prepared for the inherent ups and downs of actual behaviour change.
Willing: How committed are you to doing what it takes, even when it's inconvenient, uncomfortable, or challenges your existing beliefs? This includes willingness to modify your schedule, habits, and approach based on professional guidance.
Able: Do you have the practical resources—time, energy, support systems, and life stability—to engage consistently with the coaching process?
The threshold for successful coaching is typically around 8 out of 10 across all three of these domains.
However, people who desperately want coaching often overstate their scores, rating themselves as perfectly ready when they haven't attempted significant changes recently, or claiming complete willingness to change but then being unwilling to modify any aspect of their current lifestyle when challenged to do so by their coach.
The key here is brutal honesty with yourself: Are you rating based on how much you want results, or based on your actual demonstrated capacity for making sustained behaviour change?
Coachability Can Be Developed!
Coachability isn't a fixed trait—it's a skill (or rather a suite of skills), and like all skills, they can be learned and developed over time. Some people arrive ready to engage fully with the coaching process and a more direct path to the outcomes they want, while others will need to take a more indirect path, and develop these skills through experience (read as: trial and error) and self-awareness.
The most successful coaching relationships happen when clients understand that sustainable change requires engaging with discomfort, adapting approaches based on feedback, and taking genuine ownership of their transformation process.
The Choice Is Always Yours
The difference between people who use coaching to create lasting transformation and those who cycle through multiple coaches without significant change often lies in their approach to the process itself. Understanding that wanting results isn't enough—you must also be willing to engage with the sometimes uncomfortable process that creates those results—is the first step toward making coaching work effectively.
True coaching isn't about having someone fix you—it's about learning to change yourself with expert guidance. Your readiness to engage with that process determines everything that follows.
